Since I am writing a lot about “the shift”, you might wonder…where am I in relation to making “the shift”?
~ Am I fully empowered, living sourcefully and joyfully, each and every moment?
~ Am I full of BS, simply talking about something that I have no true experience of? Just another internet wonk spouting spiritual ideas without any real understanding?
Or, am I somewhere in between?
You guessed right: I’m somewhere in between. And, making slow progress each and every day.
Now, when I say “the shift”, what I’m referring to is when we choose – deeply and powerfully (not just of the mind that is), and after some experience over time – to create our own reality, consciously. It is when we cease taking our cues for well-being from our circumstances (“I got the job!”=happy, “I got fired”=sad) and, instead, choose to be happy and joyful FIRST and, sometimes, in spite of what is happening in the appearance of life.
For me, the journey of making the shift has been gradual. There are bursts of energy and light, indeed there are breakthroughs. And then there are retreats or contractions back into the old, disempowered way. Every day is a blend of states, but my trend is more and more in the direction of consciously creating my state and this is the goal.
It’s the proverbial two steps forward, one step back. BUT, it is progress and, I have come a LONG ways from where I was even just a few years ago.
But, in order to really humanize this series, I want to be as frank and clear as possible. I’m not fully “there” yet, myself. As I see it, there is no line which one crosses never to retreat from. We’re all moving along a continuum of greater or lesser awareness moment-to-moment. And the more we can come from a place of wakefulness, of being conscious, the smoother and better my life will go.
Case in point: this morning, I was flying high. I had woken up early, and had some time to meditate and read before my daughter and wife got up. Once they did, we gently eased into the day with some light play and cacao (our new favorite morning beverage).
Here, it’s clear: my state was open, relaxed and playful. From this, I was creating an easeful, gentle morning, and even the crying of my daughter here and there wasn’t an irritant, it was a call to serve, focus and offer love.
Some time later, unconsciously, I grew somewhat impatient with the flow of things wanting to dive into writing and working. My urgency around work is often fueled by deeply held lack beliefs around money and worth. I equate creating/working with generating abundance.
(NOTE: To many out there in the ‘real world’, this might seem obvious and silly to even question, but, as I have learned, this correlation is actually very arbitrary. Much of what has generated money and abundance for me has been through inspiration and coincidence which happen most often when in a high vibe place and not through grinding and hustle. More on this later though.)
I was unconscious of this within, and found myself at my computer here and there, checking some things, purging a few emails, and basically, doing some light work to feel like I was accomplishing something.
So here is a great example then of how I can drift into sleep and, subsequently, live my life from a disempowered place. By holding onto the programming of work=abundance (money), I grow irritated at the natural flow of events transpiring in our home. And, instead of seeing and feeling this for what it is and, subsequently and naturally shifting my state, I choose more sleep and begin managing my circumstances as a way to feel better and resolve the distortion rather than simply raising my consciousness and clearing my field of energy.
This might look like me taking a few moments and sitting quietly in our bedroom to re-center myself. Or, walking outside for a nice, easy breath of sea air. But, instead of those, I continue feeling slightly irritated and, in order to resolve this, get into “busyness”.
This choice – when feeling irritated or impatient – of NOT looking at the state and, rather, trying to gain well-being from improving my circumstances, is the trap. This is the sort of behavior that still permeates my life, creating stress and tension.
To be clear, this is not the sort of thing that happens weekly, it is fairly regular for me. But, just a few years ago, I never did this. I spent my days trying to improve the circumstances of my life in order to feel better, which never worked and – due to the law of attraction – only recreated more of the same.
Quite often nowadays, I will shift my state first and then engage with life. But, sometimes I don’t. I know and believe that this is a better way of life, but simply due to the force of habit and the conditioning of the world, often opt-into the trap.
And on and on we go…
Candidly, the times that I don’t come from a sourceful place are often tied to lack beliefs around money, abundance and flow. This is easily my biggest sticking point. I have made considerable progress here, but – alas – still have yet to truly, deeply, completely surrender. Here, I still cling and need transcendence and healing.
This is due to some very powerful family patterns around money and lack, plus the conditioning which surrounds each of us in this current society. Untangling this has already created a tremendous amount of joy, freedom and ease and I’m excited for more…as there is still further to go.
In my experience, most – if not all – people that I have met walking the spiritual path (trudging, often), find themselves somewhere in between the extreme poles of fully enlightened and deeply asleep. The key is to use these moments of contrast as opportunities to awaken, see more clearly, feel whatever is asking to be felt, and then – to let go.
This process of contraction, seeing, then release is the way forward.
It often looks clumsy and awkward, but it’s real and…it really works.